Greg on Gadgets, Girls, Games, and Ghetto Ish

Posts tagged “God

Drawing The Line and Knowing Thy Role

Situation Breakdown:

You talk to a woman, get to know a woman, find out she has a dude she’s fuckin guy she’s “talking” to boyfriend, or she’s single but not interested then ends up with a boyfriend down the line. Ok, cool. You know your position now. No problem. You exchange numbers, have cordial conversations every now and again. You see each other at public gatherings and converse. Everything is swell.

Then you get this text message:

So, can I borrow like 200 dollars to get my A/C fixed?

Pump your brakes

EXCUSE ME?

I’m not your man. Sorry.

Ladies, there are certain things you just cannot ask of your male friends while you have a guy. They are:

  • Money
  • Clothes
  • Job hookups for Him
  • Food
  • Emotional Comfort

There are rules to the game of life, and one you must remember is:

“Whoever is pleasing the pussy must also provide for it”

Just like the cable, you gotta pay for that OnDemand pussy.

Point blank period.

The dude you laying next to, those are his responsibilities. You out here sucking his dick every night, but he can’t keep the lights on in your house? No bueno. That means you need to change your priorities up in the kind of men you are dating. It is up to HIM to get that money, be it overtime at work, hitting that corner, selling some dick to lonely obese housewives, asking his peoples, whatever. Your responsibility goes as far as either getting it YOURSELF, from your man, or your female friends. Why do you ask is the game like this?

1. It’s His Responsibility

It really is though. His woman wants or needs, it’s up to him to provide, not for some other man to supplement what he is lacking. Because at the end of the day, if she is getting down on her knees to please you every night, the least you can do is to put in some effort during these times to keep things smoothly. If he can’t handle that responsibility and it has you running to everyone but him when problems arise, it might be time for you to get a new guy.

2. It’s Disrespectful

Men are prideful people, so to ask another man for something instead of letting your man figure it out is tantamount to saying “You aren’t man enough to handle this problem, so I’m going to go to a real one who can.” No real man is having that shit, and can cause potential friction between your guy friend and your current beau. Also, any guy that you are dating that DOESN’T care that another man is taking care of your needs, is NOT a real man. Not now, not ever. Also, its disrespectful to the friend as well. What man do you know thinks its okay to take his money and then lay up with another man with it? I don’t know any. It’s basically saying, “Hey, you are good as my personal ATM/shoulder to cry on/chef, but not good enough to be anything romantically related.” Yeah, fuck that noise.

3. It’s Not My Pussy To Worry About

It just isn’t. I have my own bills and my own concerns, to which most of them I get something in return out of. I pay my cell phone bill, so I get in return cell phone service. I pay the light bill, I get lights and electricity. But what do I get in return for this work/money I give her? An “Aww, thanks” and that’s it. Then what does her guy get? The pussy I’m currently paying for. Fuck that. I’m not about to pay for someone else to reap the benefits of my work. Nah son, not me. When you date someone, they provide it all, mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, all that. If he can’t do it, I’m damn sure not about to pay for your bad decision-making. If you are with a man and all he has is the physical aspect down pat, then shit, you need to work with that. If you want more, you need to drop him and go out and get someone who can get more. But know this, if I’m fronting 27% of the money coming into your household this week, I’m gonna want 27% of the blowjobs and sex that you are providing. I mean, it’s only fair right? If I’m gonna be up until 5 am having a woman crying on my shoulder, she damn sure better be a childhood friend or single, because I’m not about to lift your mood just so another guy can lift your skirt.

Know Your Role and uh...open them legs.

Know thy role ladies: if you have a man, let him take care of you. If he can’t or is unwilling to, you should take this as an opportunity to re-evaluate your relationship and what you are looking for in a man.

-GT


Religion: The Big (Smelly) One

Ever since the first human began to wonder “where does all this s–t come from?”, people have been turning to religion for answers to questions to which they cannot find a real answer. Thankfully, much has been discovered in the ways of science and the world has lost some of its mystery. However, not everyone is on the side of reason, and people continue to place their faith in God/gods/L. Ron Hubbard/an airborne Italian entree, so I’m here to set the record straight.

 

I respect all religions equally (i.e. not at all)

*Note: I will only be discussing Judeochristian fallacy (phallicy, more like) as I have limited experience with other cultures thanks to the fact that I live in a quarantine-type Jewish community.

Part 1: The Old Testament

Written by nomadic, pastural sheepf–kers in the desert over 2000 years ago, the Hebrew bible (Torah) remarkably maintains a steady audience even in America, a decidedly developed nation. Aside from teaching morals or whatever those hebes are telling parents nowadays, it is essentially a collection of stories about an omnipresent but intangible, invisible, and undetectable man (yes, man; he is referred to as a king several times) who tells people to do unreasonable things to prove they love him and upon refusal, smites the bastards. This kind of behavior is more suited to a psychotic girlfriend than a benevolent deity. For example, God tells Abraham to kill his son, Isaac. Why? To test his faith. Incredibly, Abraham, the O.G. of sheepf–kers, obliges. He takes the kid to the top of a mountain, and as he is about to slaughter him like a sacrificial lamb, God yells from the heavens, “WTF are you doing, man?! You thought I was serious?!! Yo, angels, look at this a–hole, he was gonna do it!” or some divine equivalent. Abraham then goes home and continues to worship the figure that speaks to him but that nobody else can hear and not even he can see. If you ask me, that sounds more like schizophrenia than a holy presence.

 

Your local rabbi on his day off

Stay tuned for more of my sinful thoughts as well as interpreted (i.e. ruined & trashed) bible stories next week. Shabbat Shalom, sheepf–kers!

-CRYM



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