I write this in the wake of an not-to-be-named person on Twitter who got publicly blasted. For what you say? For not dealing with rejection well. I know that most men have a huge ego, and no one wants to feel rejected. The problem is when you feel like you have to try to embarrass the woman who rejected you in hopes of maintaining your ego or respect. That, my fellow me, is a no-no. You look foolish as hell trying to down a woman you JUST thought highly enough to talk to, and here’s the dirty little secret: no one believes your antics. We all are laughing at you, not because you got rejected, but because you tried to play it off in such a ridiculous manner. Obviously some of you didn’t have fathers growing up, so allow me to enlighten you in how to deal with rejection with some do’s and don’ts.
- Call her out her name once she tells you she isn’t interested.
- Cat-call from down/across the street to get her attention. That’s disrespectful as hell.
- Call her “Jeans”, “Hey you in the booty shorts”, “Lil Mama”, “Shorty”, Girl with the big titties”, none of that. Use “Miss”. That way it looks like you have some sort of home training.
- Say “Well fuck you then,” or any variation of that. You look bitter.
- (Online) Try to publicly out her or embarrass her. She can easily screenshot your thirst and upload it for the world to see.
- Ask for some sort of sexual favor off the bat. That’s what Craigslist and prostitutes are for.
- Try to assault her or accost her in hopes of bullying her number out of her. That’s fucked up. Also IT’S FUCKING ILLEGAL.
- Be respectful.
- Thank her for her time.
- Understand that you are selling yourself, almost like a product. If someone didn’t want to buy your knives from Amway, you wouldn’t cuss them out. Play the role.
- Lead with a proper compliment. An example is, “I just wanted to say that you are looking quite beautiful today…” Not sexy or fuckable, it makes you look like you have a one-track mind.
- Smile. It goes a long way.
- Stare at her face. Not her chest or between her legs.
Yeah, your ego takes a blow. But people change their mind, and they do remember the one guy who didn’t act like a jackass when trying to approach them, especially when it’s rare for men of color to do so. If she doesn’t, oh well. You can walk away confident that you conducted yourself as a man, and not as an immature ass.
So, I had an argument on Twitter. Big surprise. Here’s the twist. I was called a sexist/misogynist/dude that hates black women at the end of it. Why? Because I said this:
I personally dont fuck with chicks that have weaves & lace fronts. Never met a smart chick with them so…
That’s what I said.
Now to my readers familiar with logic, what we have there is a conditional statement. The two conditions are:
A. They are rocking a weave or lace front.
B. I have met them in person. (i.e. been out with them in a social setting, conversed with them about various subjects, etc.)
If those 2 conditions are true, then I consider them not smart.
Not smart you say?
Yes, that’s what I said.
Now, maybe your definition of smart is the nigga that can add up how much of a tip to leave in their head just by looking at the bill, but my criteria is quite a bit higher, considering I’m a certified genius and all. I consider very few people that most think are smart as such. Smart is a subjective word, and is subject to the speaker and their frame of reference.
Then the lovely @MzTamz responded with this:
i think that is in poor taste and we are probably in a different social class. doesnt mean shes stupid.
Also, when the fuck did “not smart” turn into “dumb”? There is a HUGE grey area between the two.
Now on to the hypersensitive ass women that jumped on my back. Now women, and especially black women, I understand that it feels like sometimes the world hates you. Dudes don’t want to respond on dating sites to you, you get paid less for doing the same job as men, portrayed as the “Angry Black Woman” in media, all sorts of negative ish too numerous to mention in this article, and hell, deserves an article in itself. I understand this, I know this, but how is saying this:
“I don’t date women with weaves and lace fronts because all of the ones I have met have intelligence levels ranging from above average to dumb as hell, and I want a woman I consider smart.”
“I personally dont fuck with chicks that have weaves & lace fronts. Never met a smart chick with them so…”
But I was told these statements, again from the beautiful @MzTamz:
I still disagree. I think ur language is off.
same with referring to women as hoes and what not. but we are not on the same page at all because it is demeaning. whether you mean it to be or not. thats how it is dangerous.
Same logical statement with the same conditions. The “problem” was with how I said it. Oh, so I’m supposed to protect the feelings of a whole bunch of people I have never met eh?
And when did I EVEN refer to all women as hoes? Oh wait, I didn’t.
SHUT MY SITE DOWN! AS I APPARENTLY CANNOT HAVE AN OPINION THAT OFFENDS OTHERS! IT’S A WRAP PEOPLE!
Get all the way the fuck out of here with that noise.
Then I made a tweet that said this:
Plus I call lace fronts “hoe helmets”. Call me elitist, whatever, but hoes and ratchets love em. Not my fault.
Hold on, but here’s the kicker. I was told this little gem by @MzTamz
NO i am saying that you referred to lace fronts as hoe helmets and that hoes and ratchets wear them. then you said ppl who wear them are not smart. This is not that difficult. YOU are the one being offensive.
Now check it. She never actually said what I was saying isn’t true, just that I was “offensive” for pointing out such things. Oh okay, so there was no real argument there except they wanted me to conform my language so that it was pleasing to them.
No what I would like? For the bank to conform their accounting practice to make more errors in my favor in my account. Guess what? Ain’t happening.
Then there was this exchange by myself and the ravishing @MzTamz
Stereotyping is never ok. but ok RT @theblackmurse: MzTamz –its not my fault for including you in a group that’s known for certain things.
Apparently son. I guess it’s cool though if she turns down any guy for any reason ever due to a choice he consciously made. I wasn’t choosing these women because they were black, or downing them because they were woman, but because of, now pay attention to this part, OF A CONSCIOUS CHOICE THEY MADE. It is perfectly okay to discriminate on those grounds. We all, both man and woman, adult and child, black and white, do this EVERY DAMN DAY. That’s why we don’t loan money to crackheads, why we don’t want to sit next to the really fat person if we don’t have to, why we give the white dude with the sheet, hood, and confederate flag belt buckle the O_o. It’s because of life experience has taught us this.
Which is personal and anecdotal.
Which she tried to tell me was wrong.
Do you honestly know what it would take to prove her case? She would have to know EVERY woman I have come into contact with since I have been dating, and considering she hasn’t met me in my life, I’m pretty sure that establishes her argument as bullshit.
Then when that failed, she (@MzTamz) jumped straight to the “YOU ARE A HATEFUL SEXIST” with these two remarks:
The point is that your language is harmful. I said it was dangerous cause I assumed you werent hateful. But you are
you are missing the point. you dont have to say “all women”
Her argument basically boiled down to “You say offensive things and don’t care, but you implied by talking about one subset of people who make a conscious choice aren’t smart, you are REALLY saying all human beings with a vagina are dumb.”
If I thought that, I would have said it.
Plus, and here is a very important thing, if you are going to call someone a sexist, you want to at least make sure of this one thing:
THAT THEY DIDN’T WRITE A BLOG POST ABOUT HOW SEXISM IS FUCKED UP LESS THAN 2 HOURS AGO.
So please, don’t be the reactionary that plays the race card or the gender card without doing your due diligence on the person you are accused of talking about. It’s a bad look. It’s like the dude in the barber shop that proclaims “If the NBA gives the MVP to Kobe instead of Derrick Rose they are racist!” You aren’t really thinking your position through and only trying to discredit the other person through loaded and virulent language, not by actually arguing what they have to say.
Also what’s with all the faux concern about who I put my penis in? You can’t call me thirsty in one sentence while being concerned about the goings-on of my penis.
Finally, don’t do all that subtweeting with the lies and all that. “@ me or dap me” that’s what all the cool kids are saying now right? Do that. I also sincerely hope all of those women who think stereotyping is never ok give that guy with the face and neck tattoos and a rap sheet for domestic violence their number, because hey, you can’t make judgement calls off of life experience.
But when it’s all said and done, I got love for all women, even the hotheaded and irrational ones. I feel your pain, but calm all that hypersensitive ish down. So if you still got beef or whatever, let it go, because guess what?
It’s just Twitter, folks.
March 30, 2011 | Categories: Random Thoughts, Social Networking | Tags: arguments, Basketball Wives, black women, Dating, Fuck, Hoe, logic, People, race card, Relationships, Twitter, Women | 4 Comments »
Last week on Twitter this guy @MoeScoe was showing off this new t-shirt he designed to a lady, @secretaddy. The t-shirt was this:
There are all types of shit wrong with this, which the creator clearly didn’t see. His responses were even more comical Let me just show you some of the responses to the complaints about his shirt:
@secretaddy u are too tight relax damn, its just a metahpor, we dont actually drag girls like that, damn, its not u being dragged. relax
@secretaddy ok u taking this too far, just shut up. damn! have u consider that fact that some pple like to be handled that way??? lol
@secretaddy thus wats wrong with pple these days, just jump into conclusion, u went too far with this shit, disappointed in you.fuck!
You know, once upon a time, I used to wonder what exact women meant by misogyny, but this right here hits me as plain as day. What he failed to realize is that the shirt can be interpreted to advocate rape. Then it has the word “bully” in it. The definition of bully in the Merriam-Websters is:
@secretaddy u are too tight relax damn, its just a metahpor, we dont actually drag girls like that, damn, its not u being dragged. relax
He told her not to worry, because it wasn’t her being dragged.
So women should be cool with other women being dragged into the bedroom and bullied into sex (remember: bullying implies its unwanted, because if its wanted, it ain’t bullying folks) as long as it ain’t them. Let’s take this logic further. You should be okay with gang violence and children getting shot in the street, as long as it ain’t your kids. Be cool with houses being burglarized, as long as it isn’t your house.
Sexism like this has to stop. It’s ignorant, it’s abrasive, and it’s just plain dumb. When 1 in 6 women have been a victim of an attempted or completed rape, this kind of blatant “metaphor” shirt just speaks volumes of how little we take things seriously in the black community. It’s downright deplorable.
Let me know what you think in the comments.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Have a great evening all the main chicks and to all the side chicks that celebrated last night with a box of chocolates, a rose, and some half-way decent dick (gotta save up energy for his main chick tonight), you might want to rethink that log, and better luck next year. For all those celebrating and those who aren’t but love a good mix, here are a couple to get you in the mood or just clean your house to.
This one is brought to you by @softjunebreeze on Twitter. It’s called Earsex. It goes pretty hard, I must say.
Then of course, there is mines. Lot of jazz, old school, and new school, melded in a way to get your engines going. It’s an iTunes playlist so make sure you import it. It will say Valentines Day, and of course I put the incorrect year in Spanish trying to be fancy and shit. It says 2008. Clearly I’m wrong.
Yes! People rejoice! We all have had jobs where we need to vent, and now you can vent your ass off on statuses on Facebook and Twitter, now due to the settling of a case out of court by a Connecticut ambulance service who fired a woman for complaining about her boss on Facebook in a status update.
As long as your aren’t being specific about who and where you are referring to, you can pretty much say anything you like, and if they fire you, you can sue that ass and get that nice settlement. So vent away and unleash your rachetness corporate drones!
February 11, 2011 | Categories: Current News | Tags: American Medical Response, Connecticut, Employment, Facebook, National Labor Relations Board, Social media, Twitter, United States | Leave A Comment »
So, all of black Twitter and the rap blog sites are all abuzz about nude pics of Amber Rose hitting the ‘net. Am I gonna post them? Fuck no. This is a family blog dammit, and I will not have any of that shit and that fuckery displayed here. BUT I will link you at the bottom if you are wholly incompetent at using Google. Me personally? I don’t give a damn. I have actual porn. Like, a LOT of it. There are plenty of better looking chicks doing a whole lot more than just standing around with their breasts all out. Plus she isn’t that fine anyways. I’ve seen plenty of eye-candy in these 25 years on Earth, and I have been farther than 10 miles from the neighborhood I have grown up in, so she isn’t that raw.
Plus people, seriously, there’s like a world of real porn out there. Like 1/3rd of the internet is JUST porn.
Some people just don’t need a Twitter. Or to be on Facebook, or pretty much any social media. Why? You are a fucking embarrassment. Seriously. You are not only an embarrassment to yourself, but to your family, friends, and pretty much anyone associated with you in any minute way. No one wants to constantly hear how much weed you smoke, nor do they want to hear how your baby daddy ain’t shit. I don’t care about who Kat Stacks got jumped by this time, or about Justin Beiber speeding away on a Segway from a group of pre-teen fat chicks. I don’t. Some things are better kept to your fucking self. For example:
Your Baby Daddy/Baby Mama
They weren’t shit when you met them. They weren’t shit when you were fucking them. They weren’t shit after the baby, and they aren’t shit now. We get it. But do you get that you are telling the world that you like ain’t shit people? You have just broadcasted to the whole world, “If you have nothing going for yourself, I will sleep with you.” Especially women. Women, some of yall are pretty good at hiding the fact that you ain’t shit, mainly because as soon as he might suspect you ain’t, its nothing like a great blowjob to chase that thought away. Dudes that ain’t shit, are easy to spot from a mile away. So when he first saw you and yelled “Ay yo! Girl in the jeans!” that should have been your first clue. When you met him he had more kids than jobs in his lifetime? Another clue. Plus remember the old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” Also, since he/she ain’t shit, you kid is half-ain’t shit, and is probably whole by the way you carry on online.
Going To Jail
So you just gonna get on the internet and tell everyone you are going to jail huh? You just gonna put yourself out there to tell everyone, “I ain’t shit” huh? That’s what’s hot on the streets now? If you are going to go to jail, and its for a short-term, around 2 weeks to a month, tell everyone that you are going on vacation or out the country. No need to plant the seed in everyone’s mind that you are going to be taking showers with men and might become Big Bubba’s bitch for the next few weeks.
Look, a shitload of people smoke weed. Believe me, it’s a lot. Not everyone talks about it openly for the world to see. You know why? It’s fucking illegal. If you haven’t noticed, out country, our states, and out local city governments are broke, and they are trying to come up with money any way that they can. The local police I assure you has an online presence, and if you think they are above looking at your twitter or Facebook and taking the pictures you posted of you smoking weed, and just arresting your ass, you are sadly mistaken. Oh and then they will take your weed, your money, and take pictures with it themselves and put it up on THEIR Facebook.
How Drunk You Are
Now, even my black ass is guilty of this, but I know I shouldn’t be doing it. If you haven’t noticed, people say and do dumb and random ass things when they are drunk, and people tend to not give a shit about the things they say on the internet, so these two things together are a recipe for disaster. Also, if your friends are assholes and they are drunk too, you definitely want to watch your ass as pictures of your throwing up on the toilet while taking a shit in some Uggs will show up on your news feed.
Keep this shit off my timeline and my news feed. Actually don’t. I need things to write about, so more material is always helpful. Just know, just because I’m friends with you or follow you, doesn’t mean I like you. Odds are I’m just doing it to laugh at your dumb ass.